Session Translations

These are hilarious and a little too true -

  

Musician to engineer. "Could we have more band in the phones?"

Translation: "The singer is too loud in the phones !"

Singer to engineer: "I can't hear myself."

Translation. "I don't want to hear anyone but myself."

Musician to guitarist: "Can you hear yourself okay?"

Translation: "You're too loud in the phones !"

Bassist to band. "Can everybody hear the drums?"

Translation: "This band is swinging like a broken record !"

Drummer to bassist: "Can you hear the kick drum?"

Translation: "We're not locking..... !!

Bassist to producer: "Could we have more steel/fiddle/accordion in the phones?"

Translation: "I will punish the band for rushing."

Musician to producer: "Could we have more piano in the phones?"

Translation: "Your artist can't sing in tune."

Musician to writer: "This song has nice changes."

Translation. "It's amazing what you can do with two chords."

Musician to producer or artist: "This song sounds like a hit."

Translation: "This song sounds like another song."

Producer to band: "It's a feel thing."

Translation: "I know the song sucks, but the artist wrote it."

Musician to producer: "I don't think we'll beat the magic of that first take."

Translation: "Please don't make us play this again."

Drummer to band: "Should we speed up the tempo a couple of clicks?"

Translation:"Do you all intend to keep rushing?"

Musician: "Could we listen to one in the control room?"

Translation: "The way these phones sound, we might as well be listening to Radio Free Europe."

Producer to band: "Let's take a break and come back and try one more."

Translation: "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown."

Musician to producer- "Were we booked for two sessions today?"

Translation: "Another three hours of this and I may have to kill you."

Producer to band: "We're supposed to be done at six, but we've got only one more tune and I was wondering if we could skip our dinner break and work straight through."

Translation: "You'll be done at nine, and you'll be hungry."

Artist to producer: I don't like this song it really sucks."

Translation: "I didn't write this song."

Producer to artist: "Trust me. It is a good song. Radio will love it."

Translation: "I own the publishing on this song. Morons will love it.

Singer to musician: "Can you play something like (so-and-so) would play?"

Translation: "I really wanted (so-and-so) on this record."