Monday, January 23, 2012

Music Industry's Notable Quotables

"I didn't know I liked the way you play guitar that much."
-- A prominent record executive

"Try to look at the big picture ... we're all in it and you're not!"
-- Industry executive to a stubborn engineer

"Rasinettes make me carsick"
-- Lisa Loeb

"It sounds a lot more like it does now than it did ten minutes ago."
-- unknown A&R guy

"Could you put that up an octave just a little?"
-- unknown producer

"I just want the vibe of the strings to be on the tape."
-- unknown producer after telling the engineer to erase the string tracks he just spent the entire day recording

"So let's run an instrumental version, and then one without any vocals."
-- Steve Lindsey

"Bruce just listened to all the songs on the greatest hits LP. He wants to speed them all up, except for 'Thunder Road', which speeds up all by
-- John Landau

"He's not stupid. He just has emerging skills."
-- Diplomatic engineer referring to producer who spilled coffee on the mixing board.

"Does the noise in my head bother you?"
-- Highly caffeinated engineer up for 36 hours.

"I've never liked backwards ideas. It always sounds like you've run out of forwards ideas."
-- Gilson Lavis, former drummer with Squeeze

"Well, that's the dilemma. It's supposed to be a solo and the backing vocals aren't very good, so I'd turn up the hand claps and make it a party sort of vibe."
-- Paul Westerberg in response to Bob's question "Is that a solo?"

"I make records so I can buy art."
-- Jimmy Iovine to Jim Kerr after hearing lyrics to a new Simple Minds song.

"And now he's flanging the VU meters"
-- A&R guy trying to impress an attractive woman in the studio by showing her how much recording experience he has.

Joe Pine (60's talk show host who sported a wooden leg) to Frank Zappa --
"So, with your long hair, I guess that makes you a woman."
Frank Zappa's response -- "So, with your wooden leg, I guess that makes you a table."

"That's not a bug, that's a feature."
-- Phil Cork, SSL software engineer

"Well, it's not really 'hi-fi,' and not really 'lo-fi.' It's just kind of 'fi.'"
-- Aimee Mann

"You don't actually have to be able to understand the lyrics, you've just got to feel like you could if you wanted to"
-- Chuck Plotkin (Producer for Bruce Springsteen)

"I'm the perpetual optimist, unfortunately."
-- Ed Doyle

"What do I care about lyrics... I'm a bass player!"
-- John Pierce

"Why the hell would I make up a name like 'Froom'?"
-- Mitchell Froom, upon being asked if 'Froom' was his real name

Industry Executive -- "So why didn't the trade show literature get edited?"
Marketing Assistant - "I guess nobody thought of it."
Exec - "OK then, who's the 'nobody' who didn't think of it?"

Richard Moakes (assistant eng. at Air Studios in 1987) -- "I heard an Olivia Newton-John album that was mixed using an 'Aural Exciter.'"
Engineer - "Oh yeah? Did it sound good?"
Richard - "Nah, but she looked great!"

"He's not the same player he used to be -- but even more so."
-- Unknown producer referring to recording artist who'd seen better days.

"The only thing worse than kicking a dead horse is saddling one."
-- Unknown engineer referring to a bad mix getting worse

"No brain, no headache."
-- Unknown engineer referring to guitarist who accidentally swallowed his guitar pick.

1 comment:

  1. I think I've been in the control room with some of those people. Hilarious. Thanks!